Our constant efforts to ‘catch up’ on things doesn’t really catch us up, least of all on the things that matter most.
In this post I’ll share why ‘catching up’ (as we tend to pursue it) is a pipe dream and therefore should NOT be a main focus of ours. Plus, a few Reality-Check Questions to help get out of this trap.
We All Want to Get Caught Up, Right?
Of course we do! Holy cannoli – we ADHDers are always feeling behind: late on this, buried in that, catching hell for some other thing!
And think about how much time we devote to trying to catch up – on our emails; on our to-do lists; on the news or sports headlines; with our friends, on social media, etc.
We tell ourselves: “I just need to catch up on my [fill in the blank]…THEN I can focus on the big, important stuff.”
And yet…We’re never feeling caught up. Cuz…we’re not! Ever!
Yes, certain things need to get done, and we do need to keep up on certain things. But I say we call BS on the never-ending ‘catching-up’ pursuit. Because here’s some reality…
The ADHD Catch-Up Trap
In trying to ‘catch up on’ our emails, we tend to check our inbox multiple times per hour – NOT a good strategy. Also, we enjoy little dopamine rewards for just deleting emails – classic pseudo-productivity (seems productive, but it ain’t).
‘Catching up on’ our to-do list has us prioritizing non-urgent, non-important to-dos – so we can feel good about “gettin’ stuff done”.
‘Catching up on’ the news or sports headlines is a classic dopamine hunt, so we’re likely to do it even though we just checked a couple hours ago.
And then there’s the ridiculous dopamine minefield of ‘catching up’ with our friends (or the latest memes) on social media.
Now, all of these activities can be valid on some level, but here are a few harsh realities…
- When we ADHDers are trying to catch up, we tend to focus on relatively smaller, easier tasks, more administrative, or even completely irrelevant work.
- Such things feel safe and familiar, and thus escapes from our challenging Biggies—the important things that actually move the needle and improve our lives.
- So, we’re burning time and energy that could be devoted to our Biggies!
- As such, ‘catching up’ may be the ultimate contributor to our overwhelm and stress.
And the kicker is that we never actually get caught up: There’s always another email. Another ping. Another “quick” to-do. And there’ll be plenty more of those an hour from now.
Welcome to what I call the ADHD Catch-Up Trap.
We’re Losing Time, Energy…and Joy
Given the above, when ‘catching up’ is our default daily pursuit, we tend to:
- Work longer hours
- Work weekends
- Stay up later
- Lose time with people we care about
- Sacrifice sleep, peace, and sanity
All because we’ve bought into the illusion that if we just grind a little harder, we’ll finally be on top of things.
And our futile attempts at ‘catching up’ leave us with a nagging voice that says, “You need to work harder. You need to work faster. You’re not enough until you’re caught up.”
Such self-loathing makes us more overwhelmed, more scattered, and less effective.
Again, I’m not saying deadlines don’t matter; that scratching things off our to-do list doesn’t matter. But here’s one way to begin shifting from ‘catch-up’ mode to ‘getting-more-important-stuff-done’ mode…
Reality-Check Questions to Escape the ADHD Catch-Up Trap
I invite you to take a step back, and a deep breath, and jot down your most common “catching up” activities.
And when busy with your day’s work, ask these questions of the particular thing you’re ‘catching up’ on.
- Is this thing truly urgent?
- Truly important?
- Does it create more space in my day or mind?
- Is it moving me toward a real goal?
When we recognize ‘catching up’ as the false friend it is and focus more on the truly urgent and truly important, guess what happens…
We’re more likely to finish things; we meet more deadlines; we do better in our jobs and taking care of our personal affairs.
In other words…We start actually getting caught up!
In my next post, I’ll share a few ways to truly get (and really feel) more caught up!
Meantime, remember: Whatever’s in your way…is yours to CRUSH
-APB
