As part of ADHD Awareness Month, mega-coach Laurie Dupar has, for the 4th year in a row, compiled from top ADHD experts (yes, including moi) yet another Amazon #1 Best Seller. It’s called Inspirational Ways to Succeed with ADHD, part of the ADHD Awareness Book Project.
My favorite thing about this book series is that it dispenses lots of great tips in ADD-friendly, bite-size bits. And among those bits in the latest book are quite a few that really caught my (mind’s) eye. Can’t fit ‘em all here, but can fit a few of the greatest hits…
Create an Action Board! [pg. 87]
Laurie Dupar has not only put a lot of energy into creating this book project, but has put a lot of her own wisdom into its pages as well. Of the many Tips-de-Dupar to choose from, my favorite is this one.
I’m a big fan of vision boards – as I teach in ADD Crusher Video I/Way 2: Get a Nagging Desire, we ADDers often need emotional stimulation to fire up our motivational rockets. And a vision board loaded with powerful imagery of what we most desire out of life can be a great source of that fuel.
Laurie’s tip is to create a more tactical version — an action board. What makes it more tactical is that you include images of near- and mid-term goals, and also of action steps toward those goals! The upshot is that, “In the process of creating an action board, we spend time considering our goals, finding the right pictures and putting them together [so that] we literally see: ‘This is important’ and ‘This is how to achieve it.’ This clarity and motivation can propel us to action!”
How Do I “Get” Me? [pg. 48]
As ADHD coach Judy McNamee says, “…understanding about one’s own brain wiring is a vital link to your child’s acceptance of the challenges of ADHD, and ultimately in the ability to gain or maintain high self-esteem.”
This statement really resonated with me, especially on the heels of Dr. Ned Hallowell’s rousing keynote at the recent ADDA Conference, where he repeated his admonition that we MUST move away from the phraseology of “deficit” and “disorder” if we are to start de-stigmatizing ADHD.
So think about how you talk to your ADHD kids about their condition. Or for that matter, think about how you talk to yourself about your ADHD brain! For instance, Judy suggests using a metaphor such as, “a cell phone trying to juggle too many applications at one time”. Now, comparing my brain to a smartphone sounds a heck of a lot better than “deficit” and “disorder”, no?
“We MUST move away from the phraseology of ‘deficit’ and ‘disorder’ if we are to start de-stigmatizing ADHD.”
Test Myself? You’re Kidding! [pg. 67]
Coach Liz Ahmann, who specializes in helping students succeed with their ADHD, shares a disarmingly simple tip for learning: test yourself. Now, nobody likes quizzes or tests, but if you can make self-quizzing your friend, you’ll be leveraging what research tells us is one of the most effective ways of absorbing new information.
And as I see it, this isn’t just for students – a businessperson could quiz herself before an important meeting or phone call on the key points she needs to make or on the elements of her proposal – ensuring a smooth, confident delivery…a busy mom could do a pop-quiz in advance of a parent-teacher meeting, or on what the key to-do’s are for the week, with similar benefits. So put this one in your Succeed with ADHD toolbox!
The (Unsustainable) Adventures of Executive Function Mom [pg. 74]
Diane Dempster, one half of the dynamic duo behind ImpactADHD.com, shares a personal account of thinking she “had it all together” even with three kids all born in the space of 19 months while managing a full-time career – until (you guessed it) her son was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD…and then she lost her job…and then her marriage began to unravel…and then another child diagnosed…and then…Wow.
Her tale will surely resonate with many of you parents. And the short version is that she survived – and even thrived, with a major transition: from trying to be the “Executive Function Mom” for the whole family, to being more “Self-Care Super-Mom”. All with the help of three principles:
- A perspective shift toward compassion, which allowed her to view her children’s (and her undiagnosed ADHD hubby’s) behaviors through a healthier lens.
- The upending of resentments based on the understanding that, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen”, i.e., setting expectations for the family high was setting everyone up for failure!
- A new focus on herself, beginning with self-compassion and not taking things personally. But also, “actively managing the triggers that put [her] into stress-mode.”
“Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.”
I hope you found some resonance in one or more of these. The book really is full of great stuff. If you want to see mine and others’, you’ll have to buy the book! (NOTE: Sales proceeds don’t go to the contributors – but a portion does go to CHADD, ADDA and ACO.)
Happy reading!
-Alan
P.S.: We’ve got some new videos coming to our Crusher YouTube Channel, so if you’re not subscribed yet, please do so you don’t miss them! Lots of great free tips and more to come. -ab
P.P.S. If you haven’t yet heard of www.CrusherTV.com, I hope you’ll check it out. Each Monday night at 10pm we “air” another episode chock full of useful productivity tips and “brain hacks”, and our Guest Experts provide more great ideas. Tons of other benefits for members, including free group coaching sessions. Hope to “see” you there! ab
